why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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