So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
