what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
