if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
