um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
