just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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