Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
