Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
