If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
