I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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