Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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