i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
