I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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