why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
