He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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