someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
