I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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