no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize