We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
