JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
