dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Small penises have feelings too.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
