Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
