Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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