My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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