Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Can I color on your dick again?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
