it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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