Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
