My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
