better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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