No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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