So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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