I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
