He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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