oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
