If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
