Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
