Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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