a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
