i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
