I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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