Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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