Just mADE A PArabola og urine
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
