There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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