my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
