Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
