hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Fuck appropriateness.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
