shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
