Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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