Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
