everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
