I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
